Thinking Allowed: Growing like a tall tree

Today is Tamar's birthday. I decided we should write a heartfelt note about how much we all adore her. So the four girls and I gathered round, and I asked them to just speak from the heart, and express their feelings about she who is the heart and soul of our family.

Mama is Martin the Warrior, because she's a warrior.

She isn't a WARRIOR, Tova!

She's Cluny the Scourge, because Cluny the Scourge is strong and she is strong.

She ISN'T Cluny the Scourge!

She's super super nice cause she's super super nice

She won like all the time when we played Ticket to Ride in quarantine.

Baba!

The first time I went down the freefall at Questacon she went down first, and then I did it!

What animal is Mama most like?

I know! I know! I know! What was she again? A caterpillar? No, she's most like a rat. Cause that's her thing in the Chinese thing.

Cause she's Cluny and Cluny is a rat

Mama is not an ANIMAL!! [Now Zadie is sobbing]

I know she's not an animal Zadie

GO AWAAAAY!!

Maybe I should write something.

GO AWAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!

Shhh!

I know what you could write! That maybe you could go to the hospital so your back gets fixed.

Actually, I want to write that Tamar is an amazing role model for her kids.

That's not an animal!!!

Tova, what's one thing you've learned to do from Mama?

I know! From Sohpia I learned to do back walk. Don't write back walkover, write back walk!

You mean back kickover?

I know! I know! That Sofia the First is a really healthy movie so we should always watch it.

Aurora help me out here.

I learned how to do a back walkover.

I know! I know! That she could get the things that go down and then the line line line and then line line line. Like that guy in Frozen 1 has.

You mean sewing?

No not sewing! He goes like this and the head gets down and the thing goes down like that.

Like a wig?

Noooo it goes down his shoulders and it has like lines

What are you talking about?

I know what you can write: the magic school bus goes in someone's nostril

Mama didn't teach you that!

Yeah she did! And that Mama is the magic school bus

What abouttttt...doing a back walkover?

I already did that!!

I know I know I know what we can write! That everyone has a nose but one person's nose is so long that it goes all the way down to the floor

Is that Mama whose nose is so long?

(Scornfully) No.

That she taught me to talk and walk!

Tick tock! Write tick tock!

Tick tock goes the clock.

Why do you love your mama so much?

I know, cause she's my mama!

Cause she's Cluny the Scourge and Martin and the Magic School Bus! And Matthias!

Is that how you spell Matthias?

I know! Cause she's my mama!

I already wrote that.

Sophia said that.

Cause we went to Japan! Why? Because I like Japan! Why? Because it's nice there!

Now write why why why why why then I love TOVA ok?

Zadie why do you love your mama so much?

Cause baba

Anything else or just baba?

Baba

OK fine, so we're not raising a pack of Shakespeares. But it doesn't change the fact that Tamar really is the spirit of our family (and, for Zadie, the centre of our existence). She just has so many ideas. Makes escape rooms with serious amounts of research behind them. Gets us to hike from Vienna to Budapest, or Anakiwa to Ship Cove, or Cape Henlopen to Point Reyes. Baking isn't just cookies, it's matzo in 14 minutes, or Montreal-style bagels, or completely addictive lemon meringue pie. Travels around the world investigating the secret sources of banh mi and wandering the back streets of the most random town in the Philippines. Vegges out with logic problems, anagrams and crosswords. Starts her birthday with a 6:45 a.m. run up Red Hill with a friend she just met last night. And all of this on top of doing 95% of the parenting, getting girls to gymnastics and climbing, working part-time, coping with my grumpy moods...

I wasn't sure how to end this, but then Tova showed up to say that Tamar is as strong as Cluny, as brave as Matthias and as magic as Martin. Which sounds about right to all of us. We really love you Tamar.