Thinking Allowed: A Hoi Hoi!

Vietnam, here we are! This trip is well and truly underway. We had a fairly smooth trip from Singapore; ‘cause of my back issues, Tamar squished nobly into one set of seats with Zadie, Tova and Sophia, while I sprawled across the others, head on Aurora’s lap, reading The Sweetness At The Bottom of the Pie out loud. We arrived late at night in Cua Dai, and have been gradually exploring the Hoi An area for the last three days.

Overall it’s really great. The girls eat massive amounts of rambutan and minuscule mandarins. I gorge on banh mi for breakfast and am sated for the day. Tamar borrowed a bike so she can scout around, and is well-known at the markets. Sophia has already joined a gymnastics club and is currently training even though it’s her birthday. Aurora has been in one unbroken good mood since she left Australia. Tova just got her hair cut and narrowly avoided getting a massage, nail gel, waxing and exfoliation too.

We are not exactly integrated yet. Nobody can say anything in Vietnamese except Tamar, who has been crushing the Duolingo and can now sometimes say “I am a human”. Virtually every shop is in somebody’s house and there keeps whatever hours and practices: we’ve hit up the bakery twice but never found a crumb of bread.

Also, money seems to be a slightly taboo topic. Everyone is extremely polite and I get vibes that it’s offensive to try paying up-front; it must happen as a feigned afterthought, sort of like johns must do I imagine. The problem is that prices vary by a factor of like 5: yesterday I got a coffee for $0.80, and today for $3.00. Israelis must have fits or else just offend everyone.

The day’s rhythm is different too. 6 am is peak rush hour: the restaurants are packed, motorcycles whiz by in a steady stream. By 7 am the schoolyard is full. By 8 am the markets are starting to close, and by 9 the streets are quiet.

I’ve mostly been at home doing ‘smarts’ (euphemism for homework) with the girls, mostly math and spelling. They also clamour to do this Dungeons and Dragons game we have going on. In the last instalment, they helped Tom the Goblin raid a pyramid. Tova is a hobbit healer but acts like an assassin. She split off from the group, and found a sign saying “TREASURE THIS WAY”. Aurora: “oooh don’t go there!” Tova: “I follow the arrow and take all the treasure for myself!” Me: “sorry Tova, it’s a trap. The door slams shut behind you. There are three buttons, red blue and green. And a sign saying EGNRE. Which do you press?”

Tova spends a minute deciphering it, gets it right and says “Red!” Me: “uh oh, the spiked ceiling starts lowering towards you!” Sophia: “shout for help!” Aurora: “push the green button!” Tova (triumphantly): “ok I push the BLUE button!” Groans from the others. Me: “the room starts filling up with water AND the spikes are descending!” Tova: “I shoot all my arrows at the door and then eat my lollipop before I die.” Luckily Sophia and Aurora rescued her in time.

There’s lots more to write about Vietnam but I got sidetracked. Now Tova and I have to go out to find another shoe shop that will make flying shoes for her birthday (see diagram). We are 0/1 so far.